is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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