I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
