she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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