another moral hangover. fuck.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
