Can i not drive my cunt home
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's shark week go big or go home
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
