he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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