So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
