so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
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Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
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Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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