My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize