great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize