he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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