At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The feeling are messing with the penis
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
