They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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