just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
