I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
