using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Can I color on your dick again?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
