I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
