I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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