People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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