He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
