Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
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I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
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I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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