he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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