hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
