He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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