i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
