You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle