Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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