dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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