Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
