my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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