So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
