Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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