My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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