I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
