Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize