I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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