You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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