I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
