She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
