The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
