Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
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I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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