I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
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and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
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DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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