so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
A+ Viking dick
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