Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
