Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you had me at cake vodka
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
