you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
