So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
