Pants 0. Shit 1.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
