that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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