I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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