I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
