Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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