On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize