They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
