we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
