She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
