i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
