i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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