You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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