im gay
i know
yea but for you.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
